House

It all goes away.

Torn wallpaper, canvas hiding the scars.

Chandelier weeping, crystal drops filling the sky.

Tables sleeping and chairs empty, deathly restfulness.

Food hollow, swaying in the kitchen.

Closets full of despair and secrets, lives forgotten.

Wires hanging, free from the chains of light,

existing with bliss and enjoyment,

hugging and tangled with another, complete.

Statues melting and fading with the looming darkness,

death of spirit slow.

T.V’s and radio’s, technology raw and exposed,

extinct and forever gone.

No sound and no whisper, utter silence.

Concrete walls of nothingness,

the nothingness becomes us.

We become the nothingness.

Lives fulfilled, harvested and grown,

All for none, and none for all.

Just like the fading empty house,

We are always alone,

for eternity.

Pain

My pain and I are best friends.

It strikes me every day
hits me, destroys me and seeks,
seeks my own annihilation

I used to pray,
I used to pray for the pain to stop
to let me be, and leave my suffering,
dwindling rotting away soul,

But prayers are null,
nothing, pointless,
fruitless, they are emptiness.
they are an emptiness,
that I know very well,
a place of existence that suits me best.

Just like the nothingness of prayers,
the pain will always linger on my back,
crawl in my guts, and leave me stranded,
Stranded on the shores of nihilism,
the shores of no return, the sand of doubt.

I am one with my pain.

Control

There will always be things at our reach, and things that aren’t.

Things you can control and things you can’t control. As lavish and majestic the idea of having control over everything might be the grandest of wants to any human being, I think it’s as far-fetched as it can be.

The things you can control are minimal. A very minimal example would be mostly physical attributes of one’s self. Someone who is overweight, and chooses to stay overweight, or lose the extra pounds, that’s something everyone can control. The same excuse you hear from anyone who needs to shed some fat is always the same: I don’t have time to exercise, I’m big boned, my weight is genetic, etc. However, what one needs to lose weight is to exercise at least thirty minutes a day, which I’m sure anyone can have that amount of free time no matter how busy. Anyone can control their calorie intake and what they put into this vessel that holds our consciousness. Another example of the things you can control, other than physical attributes is the mundane and day-to-day things. This sounds vague, but let’s make it simpler. For example, a person who has job duties, or study duties, or any duties of any type, shape or form, can choose to work and pursue those duties, or choose to quite simply neglect them.

The things we can’t control, aren’t minimal at all. It’s the things that have a metaphysical aspect to them, or things that are greater than life itself. Love as an example is the perfect basis we can move on with the idea of things we can’t control. Sometimes, when emotions and feelings you might have to that special person build up, they at the same time might not have an ounce of affection towards you, that’s considering if you can measure the amount of affection a person holds to another. Another thing you can’t control, is the notion or concept of existence itself. You know, one of the greatest mind-boggling thoughts that come up to any person at some point in their lives, or even on a day-to-day basis is the idea of God. We all think about the existence or non-existence of a higher power, and that’s something that we can’t control in my opinion of course. No matter how much science advances, we will never have empirical proof or evidence to the existence of a higher being, and we will never have empirical proof arguing that no matter how infinite the universe and how it’s expanding, that God doesn’t exist. The best explanation for the existence of God for me, is simply that little space between us, you know? When you are talking or conversing with someone, and that smidge of breathing space, that keeps us apart, is what might be God, or something like that.

I’m sure there’s many more things we can and can’t control, and no matter how much technology advances, and cultures and societies change, there will always be things we can and can’t control.

Shame

A poem about the hardships and the curse of life.

I can never walk away
I don’t want to be the lone stroller,
sashaying along the barren lands,
with feelings of guilt and shame
slowing me down,
like a thousand stones
laying still on my heart

Like a blustery whirlwind
It hit me along with crackling hail,
A deluge of heavy rain,
thunderous roars of fulminating bolts,
I shivered and scampered,
like a cast away duckling,
searching for solace and acceptance

Dreams of a pellucid sky,
shining down rays of sunshine
as I hurry away from the shame
that inflicted my dreaded soul,
like a curse of Cain,
haunting my conscious existence,
til end times.