Isolation

Isolation is not fun.

Surrounded by white giant walls that always seem to be there,

I feel safe.

There’s also my closet, face first towards me, that stares me down to sleep, every single night.

The brownish color of the wood always manages to keep me sheltered, and safe from harm,

But the horror is always looming, and the comfort isn’t always around, and the beautiful color won’t be there to always hold my arm.

This makes me realize that I’m all alone, and it is pretty sad, but I try to stay positive, and I never get mad.

However the loneliness gets intense, and it tangles me in its web of isolation.

It’s okay though, I can always reminsice of the older times, where I had a hint or a notion, of longing to belong to someone, anyone.

I don’t feel safe, and I don’t think I will be for long.

All I can do is hope for a chime, signaling enough passage of time, to a point where I won’t be all alone.

I wish it is not something set in stone.

Isolation kills.

Staring

Staring at nothingness, realizing I am nothing.

Staring at the ceiling above me,
Pale and white, the paint shedding off
I pause, and stare
Drowning my sorrows every night,
Sitting on this old wooden bed,
Eyes fixated upon the same illuminated screen
The realization of failure,
The realization of nothingness,
The realization of woes and sadness
I look up again at the ceiling,
Trying to find some purpose,
Maybe just maybe, the white old paint has the answers
The paint, the screen, the whirling thoughts
Thoughts of love and desire
Thoughts of pain and heartache to come
There’s no escape…
I wish I had nothing. Nothing would be better,
Better than living among lies
Nothing would suite me just fine now,
As I am nothing,
And nothing I shall be.