House

It all goes away.

Torn wallpaper, canvas hiding the scars.

Chandelier weeping, crystal drops filling the sky.

Tables sleeping and chairs empty, deathly restfulness.

Food hollow, swaying in the kitchen.

Closets full of despair and secrets, lives forgotten.

Wires hanging, free from the chains of light,

existing with bliss and enjoyment,

hugging and tangled with another, complete.

Statues melting and fading with the looming darkness,

death of spirit slow.

T.V’s and radio’s, technology raw and exposed,

extinct and forever gone.

No sound and no whisper, utter silence.

Concrete walls of nothingness,

the nothingness becomes us.

We become the nothingness.

Lives fulfilled, harvested and grown,

All for none, and none for all.

Just like the fading empty house,

We are always alone,

for eternity.

Pain

My pain and I are best friends.

It strikes me every day
hits me, destroys me and seeks,
seeks my own annihilation

I used to pray,
I used to pray for the pain to stop
to let me be, and leave my suffering,
dwindling rotting away soul,

But prayers are null,
nothing, pointless,
fruitless, they are emptiness.
they are an emptiness,
that I know very well,
a place of existence that suits me best.

Just like the nothingness of prayers,
the pain will always linger on my back,
crawl in my guts, and leave me stranded,
Stranded on the shores of nihilism,
the shores of no return, the sand of doubt.

I am one with my pain.

Sleep

Sleep, and close your eyes, rest.

I rest my head every day,
On a pillow so soft, it keeps me safe,
It catches my dreams and thoughts
Judges me not, and knows who I am.

On my bed, I sleep every night,
Safe and sound from any fright.
Dreams all gone, not in sight,
My brain turned off, with all it’s might.

Sleeping does wonders to a man,
Especially my pillow and bed.
They hold me tight without a fret,
Eyes wide shut, long day ahead.

 

Serenade

I’ll be there, no matter what.

Serenade me with your voice
Embrace me with your eyes
Let us fall and make a choice
A choice of eternal youth and joy.

Let me tell you things you want to hear,
And playfully sway to my words so dear
I want to be there for you, talk to me
Why won’t you talk to me?

I know I can’t make you whole again,
But I know that I’ll fucking try
I won’t stay away, cast in a little den
Like a fish circling the ocean,
You’re my home,
And I’ll swim around constantly.

Thin Line

Never lose hope, even if you’ll fail.

I told you how I felt,
And you just froze,
Like a snowman in a storm
Calm and existing with the weather
Before the sun rose back again and melted him down.

I’m sure about my feelings to you,
Like a drunken sailor loves his rum
Drinking it down like there’s no tomorrow,
But there is a tomorrow…

I’m hanging on a thread here,
With both ends cut off,
Caught mid-air,
Screaming with my hands orbiting the atmosphere,
I’m about to fall.

The human brain,
A mean machine, of constant thought,
Driving a person towards eternal insanity,
Feelings too intense to consume.

I drink to your love every night,
Hoping, just hoping it’ll come,
Banging on my door, 4,5,6 A.M
I’ll be awake by then,
Staring at the entrance
Like a soldier on duty
Waiting not the enemy,
But the ally, that will end my agony.

Summer Night

Parties are fun. Not always though.

T’was a summer night,
The alcohol in abundance
Cocaine filling up the space,
The space between my nose and the air I breathe.

Everyone engulfed with madness
But it was I, who was filled with sadness
The cocaine only made things worse when they shouldn’t
What’s happening to me I thought, I am deficient.

I’m worthless, I’m nothing I thought in a snapful frenzy
I disappointed myself with bad intentions, my soul empty
I drank some more, feeling like the embodiment of sickness,
On the verge of collapsing, I hurried with quickness.

My grand escape.
I left the tomb of a party,
A knife, waiting for me at home
I stare at it sharply.

What now? What now?
Who knows.

Descent

The descent was too hard for me to handle.

I remember
I remember seeing the towers crumbling
descending into the abyss.

I remember her gaze, the way she stared at me
It haunted every ounce of my body
It rattled my bones,
It shook my core,
It changed me.

I remember her raspy soft voice,
smooth and slithery,
with every word spoken,
sliding deep down into your soul.

I remember the innocence in her eyes
an innocence so sincere and profound
an innocence of the lost and suffering,
searching miserably for a chance of life,
her eyes, they spoke to me.

The descent I witnessed,
a shameful loss of existence,
a loss of something that could’ve been
a loss greater than anything.

I lost the love,
I lost the love that I never had,
I lost the love that never loved me,
I lost nothing,
yet I lost everything.

Calm

No mistakes, all in time.

Blissful and soulful,
sound and careful
I have to do this right,

Her complexity and depth,
evokes images of annual growth rings
A beautiful and concentrated mess,
intensity and experience,
shaped into life and structure.

Intimidated and startled by such beauty,
I fear for this imagery of her inside my head
to be just the opposite in her thoughts
I don’t want to be the dying winter tree
shivering for another chance of life.

I have to do this right.

Out

Overwhelmed by myself and my imagination. I’m out of everything.

Illusion of choice and freedom
A mirage of lights,
An inundation of beings
Creatures, things
Overwhelming my paranoia

Amethyst and cordovan imagery
Adding to my misery
Wallowing deeply in my wild imagination
What is real to me, I don’t know,
Like a wild pang of a paw,
Stripping me out of consciousness,
And back into the spiral of madness

Erupting volcanoes,
Oozing out the redness of my soul,
As deep as a hole
Concave and hollow,
And ransacked out of love,
Out of tenderness, out of emotion,
Out of sentiment, out of affection,
Out of love, and out of life.

Staring

Staring at nothingness, realizing I am nothing.

Staring at the ceiling above me,
Pale and white, the paint shedding off
I pause, and stare
Drowning my sorrows every night,
Sitting on this old wooden bed,
Eyes fixated upon the same illuminated screen
The realization of failure,
The realization of nothingness,
The realization of woes and sadness
I look up again at the ceiling,
Trying to find some purpose,
Maybe just maybe, the white old paint has the answers
The paint, the screen, the whirling thoughts
Thoughts of love and desire
Thoughts of pain and heartache to come
There’s no escape…
I wish I had nothing. Nothing would be better,
Better than living among lies
Nothing would suite me just fine now,
As I am nothing,
And nothing I shall be.